Miri, irate and tired, excused herself from the medical facility. She informed Lily quietly of her departure, stating she was stepping out for some fresh air and would be back shortly. Has she not been so upset by the doctors behavior and remarks, she would have noticed the shocked look on Nurse Bennett's face, as well as the concern. Since she did not, she left before the other woman could ask what was the matter.
Outside, the air was really no fresher. It smelled of death just as much as anywhere else. Still, the light was brighter and encouraging. The air was brisk, though no where near a chilly as it should have been for this time of year. The fluffy clouds in the sky weren't blocking the sun at the moment.
The chapel she sought was a quick walk from the hospital, made quicker by her stride. There were more people inside than there used to be. The recent events had brought even the skepitical of their peopl back to their faith...and tested the most faithful. So far, she had heard of no one deserting their faith, but she hadn't been staying in touch as much as she used to.
Not since Byrin had arrived. Much had changed since then.
She found a quiet corner of the chapel, as alone as she could get amongst so many people beseeching the same God for deliverance. She sat on the floor, drawing her knees to her chest. Her first prayer was that no one would disturb her...that her grandfather would not notice her presence at this time of day, that Marcus or Lily wouldn't follow her...she just wanted to be alone with God.
What would You have me do, Lord? she asked Him silently. Daily I fight this disease as I fight sin. And yet, when I am near this new doctor, I find myself thinking of other things. Wishing he was a believer so that my affections for him...do You see my problem Lord? Even now, he distracts me. I need to focus. How can I help him find answers and I can't do that if I'm worrying about whether he likes me, without worrying if he's eaten enough...so much has changed in me since he's arrived. No one has ever affected me like this, always I've been able to focus on You without anyone distracting me. Lord?
There was no answer, no warm presence to assure her that He was there, that He was listening even. She drew a deep breath.
"Miri?" came a soft voice.
She looked up and saw Lily standing not that far from her. She refrained from sighing again. "Yes, is something wrong?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing. Mind if I sit?"
"Go ahead."
Lily sat next to her, her legs crossed Indian style. In her wrinkled ConFleet uniform, she looked uncomfortable and out of place. "You looked upset when you left, and in such a hurry I didn't get chance to ask you what was wrong."
Miri bit of a sharp response. Her people were dying and she was crushing on a silly mane, what could be wrong? Instead she said, "Nothing out of the ordinary."
"I see." Lily leaned against the wall. "It can be hard working with someone you're attracted to, especially in such dire circumstances as we're in. You feel guilty for being wanting to be happy, for dreaming when people you love are dying."
Miri made a noncommital sound. "You know the requirements for our faith. If your 'crush' doesn't believe likewise, what is the point of allowing such feelings continue to distract you?"
"We're only human, Miri." Now Lily sighed. "We can't help who we like, or don't like. Or even who likes us. Emotions are troublesome things."
"Tell me about it!"
Lily hesitated but a heartbeat. "I'm having the same problem, Miri."
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