October 27, 2007

Resistance Is Futile - pt 38

It had been a good day. Virginia had worked most of the afternoon with Reg on the transporters on the shuttlecraft and had even worked on the other shuttlecraft for quite some time. She had also enjoyed a leisurely dinner in Ten Forward with Reg, and a few others who had wandered in. It had been good to get reaquainted with Laren and Arnold and Red-22.

But now she was tired. She had had a long day, and she and Reg had agreed to meet early to get a jump on the ship's transporters. Entering her quarters, Virginia was quick to shed her clothes and slip into more comfortable clothes. She raked her hands through her hair and flopped rather inelegantly on the long couch that faced the windows...where she had left the bottle of Ale.

Taking the half empty bottle in her hands, Virginia sighed. She really shouldn't. She had a long day ahead of her tomorrow...Reg was counting on her to help with the ships transporters. And she had more than enough alcohol in her system to last until after the mission. But her 'tired' wasn't just from physical exhaustion...in fact, very little of it was from that...Her 'tired' came from the weight of her burden. From the weight of this mission. From the weight of her heartbreak...not just with Jean-Luc, although that was a disappointment and even now, an embarrassment. That after so long, she should be so weak to masculine attention. How she missed her beloved Marcus...how deep the shame she felt for betraying him with Ian...the shame she felt for missing that man as well.

At the thought of Ian, Virginia's skin prickled. Her fingers toying with the neck of the bottle, she looked about. She could feel nothing and no one...and she didn't dare skim along the Bond they shared for fear of drawing his attention, even Muted as it was. But still... "You're watching, aren't you?" she said to the thin air. "I can't see you...or feel you...Sometimes I just wish you'd..."

"Wish I'd what?" Ian/Q asked gently, quietly appearing at her feet. Kneeling no less!

"I just wish you'd go away," she said, tears slipping from her eyes. Her heart contradicted her because she was insanely glad that he had decided to show himself to her.

He reached out and, with a gentleness known to only her, he wiped away her tears. "No you don't."

Frustration flitted across her face, tears increasing despite his efforts. "Can't you ever just agree with me? Must you always contradict me?"

Ian/Q's smile was gentle, and amused. "I think that if you remember long enough back, there have been plenty of times I've agreed with you...even though we both know you were wrong."

She didn't answer.

"Please don't drink the rest of this," he said, clearly posing it as a request. His other hand reached out and covered her hand that rested on the bottle. "Please, Virgina."

"I'm a lost cause, Ian," Virginia said, her hand involuntarily tightening around the bottle.

"No, you're not. Have you forgotten everything you once believed?"

"That was a long time ago," she said bitterly. "He has forgotten me."

"No, He hasn't...He's just waiting for you to call on Him again."

"Am I always such a failure in your eyes?" The bitterness in her voice turned to anger.

"Far from it," Ian/Q answered. "I'm sorry if coming to you now was the wrong thing to do..."

"It wasn't..." As quickly as that, she was back to being heartbroken. For the man before her, that she couldn't admit to loving after such a long denial.

They sat in silence. He was still catching her tears. Each lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm going to leave now,"Ian/Q said after a long moment of watching the various emotions skitter across her face. "Please, just...don't finish this bottle." He paused, waiting to see if she would answer him, if she would say anything at all, if she would hand the bottle for him to take. When she didn't, he leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. And then as quietly as he appeared, he was gone.

Tears flowed in earnest now. Never had she felt his absence as keenly as now...and this when their Bond was Muted! Virginia hugged the bottle of blue liquid close to her, wanting it now more than ever.

2 comments:

Ciera said...

My apologies!! I'm about 3 weeks later with this than I intended. LIfe does get complicaed doesn't it? Enjoy. :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Better tlate than never at all! Another good part.